Survivor Tatooine
by rebel scum
Summary: Several Star Wars characters come together and attempt to put together their own survivor


STAR WARS SURVIVOR: TATOOINE By Joy Kearney  
  
THEME SONG PLAYS  
  
Michiko- Hello and welcome to our new, Survivor Tatooine. Now I will introduce you to our contestants. First we have, our youngest contestant on the show ever, 9-year-old Anakin Skywalker! Anakin-Can we fly in this? Michiko- Maybe. Now next we have. Anakin- I WANT TO FLY! Michiko- Ok! You can fly. NOW next we have, short green and mean, Yoda! Yoda-Mmmmm. Meditating I am. Bother me you will not! * shoots force lightning at Michiko but misses* Michiko- Ok then.anyway. Next we have the well-respected Darth Vader! Vader- *breathes heavily * Michiko- Ummm.. And now we have Princess Leia of Alderaan! Leia- * bows * Michiko - After that we have her mother, Padme Amidala! Padme- Thank you, Thank you. Michiko- Now I am tired of introducing everyone so the rest of them are Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Mara Jade. Mara- *pulls out blaster * I want to be introduced separately! Michiko (nervous)- uh Ok this is Mara Jade, the emperors hand! * Vader Claps * Michiko- Now they were each allowed to bring one item with them. Lets see what they all brought. Luke- I brought my lightsaber so that Mara doesn't kill me. Mara- I'll find a way around that! Did I mention that I hate you? Luke- Yes actually quite a few times. Michiko- ANYWAY! Mara- Right, my blaster of course! Padme- I brought my entire wardrobe! Michiko- You cant do that! Padme ( defiantly) - Well I did. Leia- I wanted to bring my lightsaber but I couldn't find one. Does anyone have a spare? Mace- Sure, I have 2. *tosses her one * Anakin- I got me a starfighter! Vader and Qui-Gon in unison- lightsaber. Obi-Wan- Yeah, me too. Michiko- Yoda? Yoda- Told you to leave me alone I did! Michiko- Oh Sorry. Vader- When do you start asking questions? Michiko-Questions? You don't ask questions on this show, it isn't jeopardy! Qui-Gon- Well I want to play jeopardy! Leia- Me too! All except Michiko- Questions! Questions! Questions! Michiko- Ok, fine. Get in a circle around the fire. Anakin to Padme- I want to sit next to you! Mara- I WILL NOT SIT NEXT TO LUKE! Mace- I'll sit next to Leia! Obi-Wan- I want to sit next to Padme too! Michiko- DOES ANYONE NOT CARE WHERE THEY SIT! Qui-Gon- I don't as long as I don't have sit next to Vader, Mace, or Yoda. Michiko- AUGHHHHH! Every body sit! Ok that's better. *total quiet * Mara- Some Kohouns! Alright! Leia and Padme- *shriek and jump up * WHERE! Mara- * rolls eyes * Like mother like daughter. There aren't any. Luke- Hey! Don't do that. Mara- Shut- up Skywalker! Obi-Wan (spooky voice)- Luke! I am your father! Luke- What? I thought he was. * points at Vader * Qui-Gon- * shakes head * Stupid Vader- *breathes heavily * Michiko- I give up! Padme- You should never give up! Michiko- Ok. QUESTION 1. Where are we? Yoda- On Tatooine we are. Got it right I did! Michiko- I see you've come out of meditation. How long does it take to cut through a solid metal door? Leia- With what? Padme- Anything you want! Qui-Gon-I think it depends on the thickness of the door. Michiko- Correct! And that leads us to our immunity challenge for tonight. We will be seeing who can get through a metal door the fastest... Qui- Gon- Alright! * Draws lightsaber * Michiko-..And defeat the Destroyer Droid on the other side. Obi-Wan- Good deal! *10 large metal boxes are standing to the side. Mara approaches 1 * Mara- This will be easy! * Pulls out a thermal detonator, places it on the door and runs* KABOOM!!!!!! Mara- *pulls out blaster and with in seconds the destroyer is ...well, destroyed. * Ha I told you. * Twirls blaster around finger. * Mace- Why don't you just brag about it?!?!? Obi-Wan- I want to try next! * Runs up to the next door, pulls out a key and unlocks it * Michiko- Hey! Where'd you get that! Obi-Wan- *shrugs grinning. Opens the door. * Master! Destroyer! Qui-Gon- NAH DUH CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!!! Mace- That sounds vaguely familiar. Where have I heard it before? * Obi-Wan finishes off the droid * Obi-Wan- Piece-a-cake. Anakin- Suuuure. My turn! * Approaches door, turns handle but its locked* Why wont it open! Open you stupid door, open! Did u here me? I said open. * Runs back to Padme, crying. * Why couldn't I open it? I know I could have! Padme- Ani, your not all powerful! Anakin- Well I should be! Some day I will be! I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I will even learn to make doors open! Luke- gee, what's wrong with that kid? Yoda- To old to learn he is, just like you! *cackles evilly * Qui-Gon- Me next. Mace to Leia- Bet you he can't do it! Qui-Gon- *walks up to door, turns on lightsaber, and does the all famous "cut a molten hole in the door" trick. Throws destroyer against the wall. Sticks out his tongue at Mace* Michiko- Any way. Now its time to vote off which ever person you think should be voted off. Padme-But some of us didn't get to do the challenge! Michiko- There is no time for that! Mara- You wouldn't have made it anyway. Padme- HEY! * Everyone writes down their vote. * Michiko- Now you will tell me who you voted off and why. Leia- Do we have to? Michiko- YES! Anakin- The door, cause its mean. Padme- Yoda. He doesn't do anything. Leia- Vader. He is mean to me. Qui-Gon- Yoda. He's green. Obi-Wan- Master, you cant do that, he's on the council! Qui-Gon- And? Obi-Wan- Well. I guess Yoda, too. Mace- Yoda. He's like 800 somethin'. Talk about ancient! Qui-Gon to Obi-Wan- See, he didn't care. Vader- Luke. He cut off my hand. Mara- Luke. I hate him. Luke- Mara. She hates me. And Anakin. He's a baby! Yoda-Michiko. She bothers me when I meditate. Michiko- You can't vote me off! I'm the host! Oh well. It looks like your being voted off anyway. You are the weakest link! Goodbye! Oh wait, wrong show. Yoda-Where have I heard that before? Anakin-HA HA HA Michiko- That's all for tonight. We'll all see you tomorrow. Unless we kill each other. * Cough Mara cough Luke cough* 


End file.
